Changing social situations can be difficult for people with autism. This is particularly true when there are large groups of people or you need to do something like go out to eat, have a party, or run an event.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when things get busy. And it can be tough to know how to help someone who needs special assistance.
Asking questions and doing your best to understand what makes someone with autism tick is a helpful starting point. Then, learn about your own behaviors so you can think about ways to modify them to make helping the person more effective.
This article will talk about some strategies that can help anyone in these situations, but they may be especially useful for individuals with autism.
Make plans
In this era of technology, people have become increasingly socialized. Technology has made it easy for anyone to be accessible at any time. With the ease of communication now available through apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and Slack, along with the prevalence of online chat rooms and forums, there is no longer an excuse for not having things to do.
By actively engaging in activities with others, you will find that your group of friends grows naturally. You’ll make new connections who share similar interests as you, and you’ll learn about their lives.
Another way to help grow your circle of friends is by being honest and direct when giving feedback. If someone says something that makes you feel bad or offended, try to put yourself in their shoes and think how they could have worded what they said better before letting off some steam.
Don’t worry about hurting their feelings – that can easily be fixed later!
If you are able to give them some more time to process what you said, they’ll probably come back with a happier comment of their own. We all say things we regret, so don’t let those pass — but if you can, wait until the next appropriate moment.
Make time for everyone
Let people know that you are willing to spend time with them! Spread kindness, invite people over for drinks or lunch so they feel comfortable asking you things or seeking your advice or help.
Running out of things to do is a common problem most busy people face. If someone comes to you with an issue that can be solved quickly, offer your assistance.
If someone asks you to join their team for a meeting, attend it. If they ask if you would proofread their manuscript, edit it until it’s perfect.
It may not seem like a lot, but these small gestures make a big difference in how people perceive you. You will gain respect from those who see you as a trustworthy person.
Do not favor anyone
Now that we have gone through some basic ways to help your colleagues, friends, family, and even people who work for you get better, let’s talk about something a little more difficult- helping everyone else be better.
This may sound very hard or impossible, but it is doable! And if you are struggling with this, you are already doing enough to help other people learn and develop their skills.
Your coworkers will feel appreciated and trusted when others in the department can count on them to keep things professional and courteous. People will respect you because of how you handle yourself and what kind of person you are.
If you’re reading this now then there’s a good chance you’ve been spending way too much time trying to teach someone whose behavior is hurting you or those around you. It’s time to shift into gear and address the problem at its source – yourself.
Be a good listener
A lot of people have a problem listening due to stress or lack of knowledge about what to listen for in a conversation. All too often, they will not contribute anything during the conversation because there is nothing them to say.
If you are trying to help someone, learn how to be a better listener. This will give them the opportunity to talk about whatever things matter to them without feeling limited by your presence.
Try being a silent witness to see if that changes when you try it. If it does not, then ask whether you can do something else while they discuss their topic.
By showing an interest in others, they will feel more inclined to share information with you.
Ask more questions
It’s easy to assume things about other people, but that is usually not a good thing. When you ask more questions, it can help you understand someone better.
Questions show that you are interested in getting to know them and their life. They also give others a chance to talk about themselves without feeling nervous or self-conscious.
When conversations become too one-sided with only your voice, this can sometimes make people feel ignored or even when they try to speak, their words get lost because you didn’t let them say anything. This isn’t a great way to promote understanding.
Ask open-ended questions to gain new insights into who someone is. Try asking questions like: “What are your hobbies?”, “Who do you look up to?”, or “How did you learn how to do that?”.
These types of questions allow for longer answers than just ‘yes’ or ‘no’, which gives more information. If something important was left out, you can follow up with another question!
The best way to use these questions is to be genuine and curious. You want to listen to what people have to say, not tell them what they should say.
Try to see things from their perspective
A lot of people have a hard time understanding what makes someone else feel good or happy. This is particularly difficult when they are trying to help them out in some way, like by suggesting a movie they might enjoy watching.
If you can’t seem to figure it out, try asking yourself how you would feel if were that person. For example, if someone seems anxious around you, perhaps they don’t know whether you will accept their invitation to watch a movie together.
By thinking about how you would feel if this happened to you, maybe you can identify some underlying feelings that lead to this behavior. You may be able to offer these thoughts to the person, helping them to address their own un-explained emotions.
Look for the humor in situations
Finding the fun in life is not an easy task, but it’s necessary if you want to survive and thrive. It’s also important because we all need something to look forward to, even if it’s for only few minutes every day.
When people are struggling to stay positive, they start to focus more on negative things about themselves or others.
By nature, humans are social beings. We depend on each other for survival. So when someone else is having a bad time, we feel some sort of responsibility to them. This can make us feel guilty or stressed out.
It’s hard to keep your spirits up while feeling this way, which makes it harder to enjoy yourself. And without enjoyment, there is no motivation to do anything beyond the bare necessities.
Finding the beauty in life requires that you take breaks from focusing on what is going wrong. You have to learn how to shift your attention away from negativity.
And one of the best ways to do this is by looking at the funny parts of a situation. People often fail to see the funnier side of things because they are too focused on the negative.
If you happen to run into a friend who is suffering through a difficult period, try to laugh with them as much as possible. Tell them stories about their favorite jokes. Ask them questions to find out why they are laughing.
Do not take things too seriously
‘Serious’ people can be hard to deal with at times. They seem very focused on their goals, and how they could possibly improve or change something.
They are constantly thinking about what needs to be done next, and nothing seems to satisfy them.
If you want to help someone become happier, do not get involved in all of this. This will only make them feel even more stressed out and overwhelmed.
Instead, try being less serious about life. Let go off some of your worries and responsibilities for a few hours.
This will create space in your day to focus on other things that matter. You will also notice yourself having fun more often!
Does anyone around you seem happy? Try asking them why they are so joyful today. Does it have anything to do with work or family? Or is it just because they like doing certain activities?
Ask if there is something they wanted but never got chance to accomplish. If they answered yes, then brainstorm ways to help them achieve their goal.